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Thursday, June 01, 2006 

Upset of the Century

[Editors Note: The Davis is a guest writer, and is writing exclusively for Noob Sports. He currently resides in the utopia that is Baltimore, MD., and is known for stealing SEL's "Lake Superior State University 1992 National Ice Hockey Champions" T-shirt, and hooking up with a 1 (on a scale of 1-10... and not the good side of that scale). Let the record show that this destroyed any chance of SEL getting one of his favorite t-shirts back.]

The good thing about being unemployed again is that I get to watch ESPN’s coverage of the spelling be for the 11th straight year. I have seen a lot of things in my day, from footage of the Miracle on Ice, The BoSox coming back from down 3-0 and Jammin’ Ice beating the Chicago Flames in 1999, but todays events had to be the biggest upset in the history of sports.

After cruising through the first six rounds of the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee, this years crowd favorite, and all-around good guy Samir Patel was taken down after incorrectly spelling eremacausis in Round 7.

Let me put it to you this way: Eremacausis is such a fucked up word, that Microsoft spell check not only doesn’t recognize it, but also doesn’t even have any suggestions on what the word might be. (In case you were wondering, it means “a gradual oxidation from exposure to air and moisture, as in the decay of old trees or of dead animals.”)

After spelling adiaphorism, grandelle, intarsia, saponin, and thymiaterion correctly, fans were shocked to hear the bell signaling Samir’s exit. This not only is disappointing, it’s a travesty.

Samir had paid his dues, finishing second last year, and had one thing going for him that seemingly no one else in the competition had: he actually seemed like a pretty normal kid. Just because Samir went down before prime time, don’t be surprised to see ABC run a montage of his
career highlights at some point during tonight’s broadcast.

With Samir gone, its pretty much wide open, but Noobsports new pick-to-click has to be 14 year old Saryn "gas" Hooks. After spelling bombycine correctly in round seven, she appears to have the momentum to outlast the Indians and take home the belt.

- The Davis

more brilliance from noobsports - we want more of the davis!

Hell yeah Jammin' Ice!!

Give Midland it's proper due. The Davis is back in the finest city in the world. Jammin' Ice was possibly the finest team ever assembled. At least finest team of people who did not give a shit.

I was one of the fortunate people to see the Jammin' Ice victory. Let me tell you it was a site to see. Anyways, good stuff by "The Davis". Also, SEL deserves to get back possibly the greatest pick up of a t-shirt from a thrift shop. Enough said.

Put me down for five on Saryn. If there's one thing I've learned, always trust The Davis.

But, I was disappointed in Saryn blowing it last year on "etouffee". For those not in the know, she missed it by three letters. That is like striking out on a missed bunt.

I still have a boner over how sweet our Jammin Ice team was. Is that bad?!?!?!

It will not really have success, I feel this way.
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