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Friday, May 05, 2006 

Suddenly, I'm a Huge Nascar Fan

To be fair, I've never liked Nascar. I don't consider it a sport, and I think it pales in comparison to other racing leagues (like F-1, Indy Car, and even go-kart racing). On the "SEL scale of things he will be found watching on TV", a Nascar race sits right above those crazy uber-conservative Christian Televangelist shows where they release the devil from certain "random" members in the crowd, and right below a preseason WNBA exhibition game. Let's just say the chances of me even discussing Rusty Wallce or Jeff Gordon on any given weekend are minute.

Nascar is a stupid sport for stupid people, of which 95% of fans reside well below the Mason-Dixon line. Hell, both my parents are from Texas and speak with serious southern accents, but even they realize that Nascar sucks.

And yet... I think I may be slowly becoming a fan. Check this out:

According to ESPN.com, "one lucky fan is going to have his or her name on the Nextel Cup Series race at the Richmond International Raceway in Richmond, Va."


First of all, thank you to Crown Royal for having this competition. They are the current sponsor, and I think this is an ingenius idea. For now, the race is tentatively called "The Your Name Here 400 presented by Crown Royal" until the Daytona 500, when a grand prize winner will be chosen from a pool of 10 finalists. How sweet would it be to see the "Steve Lepper 400 presented by Crowl Royal" on Sportscenter? Personally, I think that keeping it "The Your Name Here 400" would be hilarious.

I'm interested to see how much creative control Crown Royal will give the winner of this competition. If I were them, I would let the winner be 100% flexible, and let them include any nicknames, or slogans, or whatever they wanted. The funnier the better.

Here are some ideas I have come up with:

Mike Piazza - "The Brokeback 400"

Randy Moss - "The Straight Cash Homey 400"

Nate VanHeest - "The Tripod 400"

Chris Kaman - "The Man-Bag 400"

Either Baumbach - "The Shithead 400"

Michael Vick - "The Ron Mexico 400"

Dick Cheney - "The Satan 400 presented by Halliburton"

Dave Chappelle - "The Tyrone Biggums 400"

Raja Bell - "The My Parents Didn't Huge Me Enough As A Child 400"

This Broad - "The Bat-shit insane 400" (please watch this video... "we've had many nutty people on this show over the years, you are as mean, and as sick, and as cruel, as anybody we've ever had on this program." Outstanding)

Fred Hoiberg - "The Mayor 400"

Nicole Richie - "The Pull The Trigger 400"

Marcus Vick - "The Pull The Trigger 400"

Barry Lamar Bonds - "The Clear 400"

Sean Paul - "The Yeah-Yeah 400"

Edgar Stiles - "The Edga Thtyles 400"

Tommy Amaker - "The Amateur 400"

Vito Spatafore - "The Johnny Cakes 400"

Chris Berman - "You're with me, Leather 400"

John Daly and Charles Barkley - "The Put Your Money on the #3 car, Trust Me 400"

The possibilities are endless. I think this is a great marketing idea for Crown Royal. Who doesn't love this idea? And why don't other sports copy this with names for their playoffs, or even stadium names? Please, Crown Royal, give the winner full creative control, you have nothing to lose.

Any readers out there who would like to add their own ideas in the comments section please do so.

Noobs of the Week - American 400

Come hither young man....the missionary work for recruitment ever continues...
You need to pick your driver.
Good names by the way....I think there may be a blog meme going on this one. Too much fun.

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