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Monday, April 10, 2006 

Yo, Homeboy be Crazy!


So there I was, enjoying my Sunday evening. My soccer team won our game 5-0 in the morning, the weather was 80 degrees and bright sun in Boulder, the Masters wrapped up, I caught a couple episodes of Entourage I've never seen, watched the Sopranos, watched Family Guy, and was ready to just relax, watch Sportscenter and the Top 10 plays, and tune out for the weekend. As I was watching, not really paying attention, they had a piece on Darren Daulton. After about 1 minute of watching, my eyes were opened, and I realized that...

DARREN DAULTON IS FUCKING CRAZY.

The guy interviewing him asked him a question like "what is one of your favorite experiences." Dutchie looks into the camera and says "the first time I went time-traveling." I thought, okay, this guy is cool, because it was pretty wild the first time I went time traveling. I believe it involved a Sisco, a lot of whiskey, a lot of beer, and a chunk of time about 8 hours long that I'm convinced never happened.

However, Daulton was serious. He really thinks he can time travel. He later started talking about how much fun "interstellar" traveling is, and that everybody does it every night they go to sleep.

During the rest of the show, he started talking about how the earth is going to end on December 12th, 2012, how he used to get hits in baseball but it wasn't him, and how he is a firm believer in the Mayan calender and Metaphysics.

Apparently DD is serious. I got on the answer-to-all-of-lifes-problems (the internet) and did some resaerch, and came across this article at SI.com.

Some highlights:

During the Dutch Enlightenment, No. 11 has been as significant as it was in Spinal Tap. "I'll wake up at night and look at the clock and it's 11:11," he says. "I'll turn on the TV and see a baseball game tied at 11 in the 11th inning. I'll look out the window and see a car passing with 1111 on the license plate. The car will turn into a driveway with 1111 on the mailbox."
That's funny, I've always had the same thing, but with seeing "111" everywhere I look.

When asked about the reality around us, Dutchie informed the interviewer that everything is made of vibrations at different frequencies. A rosin bag?

"Sure. A rosin bag is just a mirage of innumerable particles constantly speeding up or slowing down. But the Fourth and Fifth Dimensions remain unseen by most people. Their vibrations are at a lower frequency."
Hahahaha. Darren Daulton is nuts. He's been arrested a couple times for DUI's, but he feels that substances are just imaginary, and that the DUI means nothing. I think that's what my buddy Badger tried explaining to me when he got a DUI at 2 in the afternoon after driving his car home from the dining hall (he blew above a .3).

Whatever the case, Darren Daulton is undeniably crazy. And, to be fair, there aren't many things that make me happier than seeing one-time successful and popular people have a complete and utter meltdown.

Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side

another deadspin.com link. you guys have really stepped it up lately.

I've had Darren Daulton's autograph since the 2nd grade.... This article just made that card worth sooo much more in my book..

A quick request for more Badger stories.

What if Daulton is right, and we're all crazy? I just blew my mind.

I love that you quote "Dirty Work," the most underappreciated comedy of all-time.

Darren Daulton...I put him at #6 on my all time sports mullet list. The time travel quote was priceless. The interview would have been better if Connelly had asked him if Ted Williams really hit .406, or did some other realm do it for him.

By what little I understand about quantum mechanics, his characterization of the rosin bag is correct.

I dont think hes crazy. theres so much that we cant comprehend. I believe in Christ and the laws of God. God gave us this world for us to be eternal bright beings. anyways, Mankind has become blind and are using all are great talents for all the wrong reasons.
Also look at all the poeple that Judge him. Wrong thing to do. Oh well. Im gonna check out his book, should be intresting.

I'm sorry to say this but i've known him since a kid and he never was realy all there growing up either. Even in high school he alway seemed to have the "i'm nucking futs" look to him.

It looks as if you (Deadspin) have profited from darren daulton. Specificaly u are higher on the google list than his website. Be nice boys hes doing U a favor weather u know it or not.

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