Noobie, Noobie, Noob (2/10)
We just have to share the hotness sometimes (Fridays, actually).
Noob of the Week:
The people have spoken and this week's honor goes to Jerramy Stevens. After virtually guaranteeing a Super Bowl victory for Seattle, Stevens dropped three balls against the Steelers and linebacker Joey Porter, who was publicly critical of Stevens' comments, to say the least. Of course, he did catch a touchdown in the game but there is no doubt that Stevens heard footsteps in the secondary all Sunday long. Not that we blame him, Porter is a scary dude. In 2003, Porter got shot in the ass while standing outside a bar in Denver and returned to game action three weeks later. However, if you're going to talk trash Super Bowl week, you have to back it up and Stevens didn't. In the words of Noobsports reader C.S. Ledtke "way to deliver on the world's biggest stage, you noob."
Noobsports Talk Show of the Week:
The Barry Gibb Talk Show. Call him Mr. Gibb, you will show him respect because he has earned it...
Noobsports Trade of the Week:
NBC Sports acquired commentator Al Michaels in exchange for Ryder Cup coverage, extended Olympic highlights, and the rights to cartoon Oswald the Lucky Duck which are headed to Disney. Since Oswald was one of Walt Disney's first creations and the forerunner to Mickey Mouse, it would seem that ABC/ESPN/Disney are getting the better end of the deal. Those rights have to be worth millions and ESPN will turn over Monday Night Football to current employees Mike Tirico, Joe Theismann, and Tony Kornheiser. Al Michaels is a legendary announcer though, and the jury is still out on how that team will mesh so let's hope that Disney hasn't ruined MNF.
Noobsports Punchout of the Week:
At some point, usually on a boring weekend during the winter, every group of young friends has the brilliant idea to put on some boxing gloves and duke it out against each other. It usually ends quickly, involves a lot of grabass, and few solid blows are landed. Well, at least thats what we used to think until we saw this clip. On second thought, maybe our friends were just a bunch of tree huggers.
Noobsports Snub of the Week:
Carmelo Anthony was not picked as a reserve for the NBA Western Conference All Star Game despite averaging 25.8 points and 5.3 boards per game. Apparently 26 ppg and being the best player on a first place team ain't what it used to be.
Noobsports Snub of the Week, Pt. II:
Ozzie Guillen will not visit the White House with his world champion White Sox because of his close relationship with Venezuelan President Huge Chavez. To say that Chavez and President G.W. Bush don't care for one another is an understatement. Chicago mayor Richard M. Daley will attend in Guillen's place.
Noobsports Easy Money of the Week:
The Catholic Apologists International will write you a check for $1000 if you can just prove that the Earth revolves around the Sun.
Noobsports Undeserved Bonus of the Week:
The Houston Texans paid quarterback David Carr a $8 million bonus to keep him for another 3 years. The 26 year old Carr regressed in 2005 (77.2 QB rating) but was the first overall pick in the 2002 NFL draft. Carr's play doesn't merit an $8 million bonus but we understand Houston's reasoning. By paying Carr, the Texans have unofficially confirmed that Reggie Bush will be the first pick in the '06 draft.
Noobsports Profession of the Week:
Cork soaking. We are now accepting applications, females only (sorry, Booster).
-The Noobsports Family