Noob Sports Lifetime Achievement Award
I watched quite a bit of the Grammies last week and the Recording Academy was handing out "Lifetime Achievement" awards like rocks at the 5 O'clock Free Crack Giveaway. I chuckled about it with a friend at the time but didn't think much of it until the next day. Then, while working for the man, I realized that they seriously did give out a pantsload of these "distinguished" awards. Upon further research, 7 musicians and 4 non-performers were "honored" with Grammy Lifetime Achievement awards or this year. That's ri-gawddamn-diculous. Shouldn't this Grammy be reserved for the absolute elite musicians? Might the standards be a bit low currently? Does the rumor that Gwar is up for the award next year have any substance?
At any rate, since the standards for lifetime achievement awards are so lax, Noob Sports has decided to announce the first ever recipient for our very own Lifetime Achievement Award. Our standards for this award are as follows: 1. potential recipients must have made a somewhat lengthy contribution to a somewhat decent sport, art form, or job, 2. the Noob Sports family must semi-enjoy the individual and his/her work. Now, without further ado, we will present the first ever Noob Sports Lifetime Achievement Award.
And the winner is....
Rhymes, born Trever Smith Jr., was chosen for his contributions to hip hop throughout the last 15 or so years. The members of the Noob Sports family are casual fans; I even own one of his CDs. The single Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See is classic and might be in contention for a spot in my list of top 10 rap songs. The video for the song was inspired by scenes from the movie Coming to America and is kind of boss.
His slightly above average new single Touch It features some nice rhyming and a better bass line than your Zebco. However, the hook is simple and more than a bit annoying. Other modest hits include Woo-Haa! Got You All in Check!, Dangerous, Break Ya Neck, and of course, Light Yo' Ass on Fire. All of these songs are moderately enjoyable, especially in the right atmosphere.
Busta Bus also founded the unexceptional Flipmode Squad, which featured the less talented but amusingly named rapper Spliff Star. Aside from his musical career, Rhymes has appeared in several middling films including 2000's Shaft and Finding Forrester and 2002's Halloween: Resurrection, as well as run-of-the-mill TV shows Cosby and The Steve Harvey Show.
The Noob Sports family is sort of proud to honor Busta Rhymes with its Lifetime Achievement Award for his mediocre impact on our lives. His fairly distinctive flow will probably never be forgotten. It is not inconcievable to say that we might even download a few of his songs, or even buy a used CD, at some point in the future.