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Monday, February 06, 2006 

A Case of the Mondays (02/06)

Recapping the important events of the weekend...

- The Pittsburgh Steelers won Super Bowl XL in Detroit 21-10 over the Seattle Seahawks, proving that you should never bet against the superior mustache in the playoffs. The game was only mildly entertaining and no individual performances were particularly memorable. The story book finish to Jerome Bettis' career is the most over played story line, but the most interesting one is that Ben Roethlisberger is the youngest Super Bowl winning QB and he has an unbelievable winning percentage as a starter (27-4).

Seattle fans believe that the officiating was fixed, but the bigger problem was that Seattle never capitalized on its chances. The team missed 2 field goals, turned it over to end a long drive, and mishandled the clock during its final possession. The Seahawk defense contained the Steeler offense but gave up 2 long touchdowns that cost them the game. The first play was a 75 yard run by Fast Willie Parker through a hole in the Seattle D larger than Mich Jagger's mouth. The second was a 43 yard pass from Antwaan Randle El to MVP Hines Ward on a reverse. But how was Seattle's D not ready for that play? Everyone knows that Cowher loves the gimmick plays and the Seahawks should have known one was coming. He is to gimmick plays as Pat O'Brien is to female co-workers: at some point, he's going to dial one up (please follow this link for use during your next prank call).

Overall this Super Bowl was not one for the ages, but it was worth watching. It was competitive but I wish we would have seen Troy Polamulu taking one to the house or Joey Porter performing the Sharpshooter on Jeramy Stevens. At any rate, those of you who played Our Offical Noobsports.com Super Bowl Drinking Game must have had a fantastic night.

- Mike Martz is the early favorite for Noob of the Week. Apparently the information coming from Mad Mike and his representation regarding the offensive coordinator position for the Detroit Lions "has either been a fabrication or an exaggeration of the truth." Martz reported that the position was his for the taking last weekend, but in reality the team was pursuing Colts OC Tom Moore. Martz also insinuated that the supposed break-down in negotiations was over money issues (not true) and that the team contacted him to ask him to reconsider taking the job (Martz actually contacted the team himself). Mad Mike removed his name from consideration for the Oakland job earlier this offseason after the Raiders had already privately removed him from their list of candidates.

Hiring Martz looked like a pretty good idea initially, as he might be able to turn around the Motown offense quickly. After his shenanigans, we think that Rod Marinelli would be better served by going with a coach who will focus on giving RB Kevin Jones the ball and won't always have his eye on a head coaching position or be attempting to manipulate the media.

-Tiger Stadium hosted the 2006 Bud Bowl show this weekend. The concert featured Snoop Dogg and might have been the last event to be held at Michigan and Trumbull. While the future of the stadium is officially unknown, it is believed that the structure will have to be torn down. At least Tiger Stadium is going out on a high note with Snoop as its last act (get it?).

- Tiger Woods is 2-0 this year after beating Ernie Els in a playoff to win the Dubai Desert Classic. Els has now finished second to Tiger in a tournament 7 times and walked off the green muttering softly "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" in his quaint South African accent. Reports surfaced that Tiger taunted Els by dubbing him "Wes Mantooth" for his second place finishes but they could not be confirmed ("You know those rating systems are flawed. They don't take in account houses that have... uh... more than two television sets... and other things of that nature."). Woods shot a 3 under 69 on Sunday, but he is winning events without playing his best golf. The $400,000 prize for winning the tournament must have seemed like chump change after he received $3 million just for showing up in Dubai.

- The Magic almost dealt Steve Francis to the Nuggets in a 3-way deal also involving the Knicks. The proposed deal would have sent Jamal Crawford, Voshon Lenard and the injured Nene to Orlando, Denver would have acquired Francis and Trevor Ariza, and New York would have added Earl Watson and Byron Russell. This deal makes a lot of sense for both the Magic and Nuggets, but perhaps it fell apart because shedding Crawford's contract would hurt Isiah Thomas' quest to pay as much luxury tax as possible. After being accused of sexual harassment, Isiah has apparently decided to forget about his problems by shopping for expensive things ("Oooo, I've always wanted a Jalen Rose! And for just $34 million including taxes!!!"). Even if this deal can't be resurrected, look for Francis to be dealt soon.

- As one of the few people who truly enjoy fantasy NBA leagues, I was delighted to pull the trigger on my first deal of the season last week. My fourth place team sent Chris Webber, Andre Igoudala, and Channing Frye packing in exchange for Michael Redd and Marcus Camby. My justification for the trade was simple: I wanted 3 pointers and blocked shots and got 2 of the best in those categories. The risk for my team is injuries, as Redd and Camby are both currently playing but listed as day to day. They join Paul Pierce, Vince Carter, Chris Bosh, Shawn Marion, Ron Artest, Lamar Odom, Mike Miller, Delonte West, Jameer Nelson, and Rafer "Skip To My Lou" Alston in a star- studded but currently slumping lineup. Straight ballas though. You can't tell me that my team isn't going to be absolutely slaying noobs come playoff time...


How funny was it when Camby got hurt the next day (although he didn't miss any time) right after I said that he could get hurt eating breakfast.

can i nominate jeremy stevens for noob of the week? his hand-eye coordination made it look like between plays he was playing for team seahawks in the noobsports official super bowl drinking game. way to deliver on the world's biggest stage, you noob.

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