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Sunday, January 29, 2006 

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!


This week, Noobsports.com had nearly 1,200 unique visitors... up from last week. We believe this is due, in large part, to the love that our friends over at Deadspin threw us by linking to us. If you've never been to their website, check it out... easily the best sports website on the internet.

A look behind
... happenings in the previous week

- The Steelers crushed the Broncos while the Seahawks THROTTLED the Panthers.

- Kobe poured in 81 pts against the Raptors... Nate proceeded to move the Kobe poster from on his wall beside his desk, to on the ceiling right above his bed.

- Barry Bonds was our inaugural "Noob of the Week," and we had a guest review of MVP '06 NCAA Baseball.

- Ron Ron and Coco both gave us fits about not being traded... by weeks end, they both had new homes.

- Michigan beat the dogshit out of MSU... apparently much to the chagrin of many noobsports.com readers. Mgoblue.com also beat the badgers badgers badgers to make it the first time they have consecutively beat ranked opponents since 1994.

- The plans for the Bode Miller Experiment were laid out, and the fans seem excited.

- The Palestinians held a democratic election and elected... Hamas! That's great, now they are run by an organization whose main tenants are (1) we hate Jews, (2) we don't recognize the State of Israel, and (3) we despise anything from the western world. I only see good things coming out of this.

A look ahead
... what to expect in the upcoming week

- Bode part II, the actual carrying out of the experiment. It was going to be done today, but 15 inches of fresh powder and a couple brodies from Boulder (ER Goltz and Tommy the Gun) prevented the experiment from taking place. Estimated new date - Wednesday.

- Official Noobsports.com superbowl drinking game. To put things in perspective, we played this last year and only one person that played was able to make it to work the next day. And he said that it was "the most miserable day of my life." Great times. Guaranteed.

- The rest of the sports news, plus our opinions on what's going on in the world.


As always, we reward our fans on Sunday with some of the best and the brightest the information superhighway has to offer.

-SNL has been an absolute shocker lately, but this is actually pretty funny: It's the chronic! (what!?) cles of Narnia.

- This is what you get when you cross a bunch of dumb hick Texans with too much liquor: Bottle won't break.

- So here's the story. I've heard that Zinedine Zidane has been known to stay after practice, and hit a dead ball from the 18... and hit it off the crossbar and have it come back to him. He does it 5 times in a row, then leaves practice. Hundreds of thousands of people have witnissed this. I have also heard, that Ronaldinho does a similar thing... but does it without the ball hitting the ground. That's right, he volleys it out of the air and it smokes the crossbar. I came across this video... and if it's real, than this guy is fucking AMAZING. I wouldn't be surprised if this was a similar video to one of those Michael Vick or LeBron James powerade commercials, where they make it look real. Nonetheless, it's absolutely sick. Ronaldinho is the best soccer player on the planet.

I think the best way to sum up Noobsports.com so far was expressed to me in an AIM conversation with the G.O.D. Here is what transpired: (Screennames have been changed to protect the innocent)

G.O.D.: dude, this is awesome
SEL: agree
G.O.D: i'm so pumped its ridiculous
G.O.D: you've given me something to live for.

...That's right folks, Noobsports.com is the reason why people get up in the morning, and the best thing they have going on in their lives. Let's keep it that way.

-The Noobsports Family

I have an issue with the SEL Bode Miller Experiment. SEL can drink more than any 155 pound person I've ever seen, (i.e. In the original game of landmines he was the only person not to puke. Said game involved such alcoholics as Justin Davis and Mike Mitchell.) he should take the six drinks in one hour. THAT would be skiing wasted. SEL wouldn't even be skiing buzzed at 6 drinks in 2 hours. Blood alcohol level be damned.

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