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Thursday, January 19, 2006 

Rod Marinelli... well at least it's not Jim Haslett

The Lions officially announced the hiring of Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive line and assistant coach Rod Marinelli. Many Lions fans breathed a collective sigh of relief when they realized it wasn't Jim Haslett, but then realized that they had never heard of this guy.

The good news about Marinelli - apparently he has many traits of Red Foreman from "That 70's Show". Not only does he look like him (pictured above), but he's supposed to be a hardass just like Foreman.

In his press conference, Marinelli said that he wants to "Run the ball. With power. And I want to defend it wtih power." Like communism, this idea looks good on paper... until you realize that the Lions don't have anything that resembles an NFL offensive line. It's kind of hard to have a power running game when you don't have a line. Also, what does this mean for our last 3 first round draft picks (all WR's)? This could mean that my boy C. Rog. is on his way out of town, a devastating revelation for all his boys in Saginaw. The pot-smoking citizens of Detroit are really going to miss their alpha-male.

Marinelli also talked about changing the players' habits, how they work, and how they practice. He also said they will use pads in practice, something the Lions haven't done for the last FIVE YEARS.

Now I'm no NFL coach, but doesn't it seem like wearing pads in practice is something a football team should do? This is information I would have liked to have known over the last five years. To quote The Dude from "The Big Lebowski" -
"Look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?"
Well, dude, I just got this certain information, and certain things have come to light that I'm not happy about. How the hell do you not wear football pads in football practice? That's like a catcher not wearing a face mask in practice, a soccer player not wearing shinguards, or a member of the Odd Year pull team not wearing one of those ridiculous duct-taped shoulder harness things (huah). The dude minds.

Anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about Marinelli... it's one of those "wait and see" things. I like it better than Haslett, but early indications lead me to believe that Grimm could have been a better candidate. Time well tell if he can coach, or if he'll be the next disaster to grace Motown.

Oh, by the way, not only has Marinelli never been a coach at any level, but he hasn't even been a coordinator. That's great news.

More about the Marinelli hiring from around the web:

* A running diary of the Millen/Marinelli press conference... pretty entertaining. Sweatymen

* A little more information on Marinelli, plus a very funny "Rules For Super Bowl XL Visitors", if you're from Detroit you'll definitely get a kick out of it: Fire Matt Millen

* Deadspin weighs in on the Marinelli hiring, comparing any Millen decision/press conference to a blooper show... pretty accurate. Deadspin


Steve - your Mom called.

She said check your email.

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