NOOBSPORTS.COM: The Bode Miller Experiment (Part I)

Saturday, January 28, 2006

The Bode Miller Experiment (Part I)

(To see the results of the Bode Miller Experiment, CLICK HERE)

Bode Miller is a stud. In '05 he became the first American to win skiing's overall World Cup title in 22 years. What does that mean? Simply put, he is the best ski racer on the planet. Bode also likes to have a good time. Even before his recent "60 Minutes" interview, Bode has talked about how cool it is that he gets paid to ski, that he gets paid to visit some of the coolest towns in the world, and that he can party while doing it. To be fair... who wouldn't want to live the life that Bode lives? We'd all love to be Bode Miller. To get paid over a million dollars a year to kick ass at skiing, party all the time, and (presumably) pull loads of tail would be most guys' dream come true.

Unfortunately, Bode has a big yap. He claims that he "hates the media." But instead of shying away from them, he gets himself in hot water by making stupid comments. Most recently, Bode made news by claiming athletes like Barry Bonds and Lance Armstrong "knowlingly cheat" (AKA take steroids). You already know our thoughts on Barry Bonds, and there certainly have been many rumors flying around about Lance Armstrong, but that's just not something you say, especially with the Winter Olympics coming in a month.

Earlier this month (January 8th, to be exact) Bode Miller appeared on "60 Minutes" in a segment titled "Bode Miller on Skiing Drunk." CBS's Bob Simon was asking Bode about partying while at ski races, namely Saturday nights. Bode responded: "There's been times when I've been in really tough shape at the top of the course." He also added: "If you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy." Awesome.

Now, those of you who have been on ski trips with me (Breckenridge, Park City, and Steamboat come to mind) already know this, but skiing drunk can also occasionally be fun. I'm sure there are more than a handful of readers out there who have needed a toddie to help work off the hangover from the night before, needed a swig of Hot Damn 100 proof to warm you up on a cold day, or needed a quick pull of Rumpelminze to stop the headache and help you get down the hill. These are facts. I've done it before, and I'm sure many of you have.

However, there was something in Bode's interview that got the wheels turning in my head: When he said "If you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy." I can say that I've been skiing while drinking, maybe even a little tipsy, but never when I was "wasted." The only way to see what this would be like is to test it out.

According to Science Buddies, there are 7 steps to the scientific method: (1) State the question (2) research the topic (3) State the hypothesis (4) Test your hypothesis (5) Analyze the results(6) Draw the conclusion (7) Report your results and conclusion. Fair enough. To see if Bode's statements about skiing wasted are correct, we might as well conduct a solid scientific experiment. Without further adieu, Noobsports.com presents:

The Bode Miller Experiment

(1) State the Question:

- Is skiing wasted hard?

(2) Research the Topic:

- Although we couldn't find any solid research on the subject, we assume that skiing "wasted" is more difficult than skiing sober. There are a number of deaths from skiing that are alcohol related, so we can assume that it is more difficult. Also, if you've ever had more than 1 drink, you understand that the more alcohol you consume, the slower your reaction time becomes, and your gross motor skills are severly reduced. Both reaction time and the coordination of gross motor skills would probably be considered essential to skiing.

(3) State the Hypothesis:

- We hypothesize that skiing wasted is, in fact, hard (but not THAT hard).

(4) Test Your Hypothesis:

- In order to test our hypothesis that skiing wasted is difficult, we must set up an experiment. A proper experiment needs a materials list, a procedure, and then a test with a control group and an experimental group where we change the independant variable. In this case, the independant variable will be "drunkenness."

Materials List:
1 - Test subject (In this case, SEL)
1 - Mountain (Crested Butte Mountain Resort, Crested Butte, Colorado)
1 - Set of skis (Line Mavericks, 180 CM)
6 - Alcoholic beverages (For the purposes of this experiment, we will consider 1 alcoholic beverage either: 1 shot of liquor, 12 OZ beer, or 1 glass of wine. Since SEL doesn't pee while sitting down, there will be no wine consumed).
1 - Stopwatch
1 - Digital Camera

Procedure:
The test subject shall take three runs: (1) A run down some "extreme" terrain, (2) A timed run down groomed slopes, and (3) A run through trees and moguls, at the end attempting a 360. After completing these three runs, the test subject shall consume 6 drinks in the span of 2 hours. These drinks can come in the form of shots, beers, or wine. At a height of 9,500 ft, a test subject weighing 155 lbs will have a blood alcohol content of approximately 0.2; enough to be considered "double the legal limit." The test subject will then head back out to the mountain and attempt the first three runs again. Data will be recorded, both subjectively and objectively, and the results will be presented.

Here, in greater detail, are the 3 runs that the test subject will be skiing:

The first run will be down a slope called "The Headwall." The Headwall is a double-black diamond run (for you skier Noobs, that means very difficult and extreme), but one of the milder double blacks on the mountain. It's also only accessible by a T-bar, which could be an adventure in it's own right. Anyway, The Headwall is a very steep run (about 40 degrees), with many rocks and boulders... however there are no cliffs and no trees, so it's probably considered the least dangerous double-black run on the mountain to ski while wasted. That way, if a fall occurs, it will be a 100 foot cartwheel that probably won't kill the test subject; but many bones will be broken.

Assuming the subject survives The Headwall, the next run will be a timed run. This will take the subject from the top of the Paradise bowl to the bottom of East river. The entire run is on groomed trails, all of them blue squares (which for you skier Noob's, that means intermediate). Although there will be no immediate danger to the test subject, there will be many other skiers on these runs, and the chances of the test subject plowing into one of them at high speeds while drunk is strong to quite strong. This run has the highest probability of producing a lawsuit.

The final run will be a run on East River called "Double Top." It's a black diamond run that starts off in the trees, and turns into a nice long mogul field. This run has the highest probability of producing a "Sonny Bono" moment. (Let the record show that I HATE skiing moguls, and I think that they're a horrible waste of time and space on a ski mountain. However, they are a part of skiing, and they take a considerable amount of skill, so a mogul run is necessary for the experiment). Also, at the end of the mogul field, there is a cat walk with a jump on it. The test subject will try a helicopter (360) off of it.

If you'd like to see where these 3 runs fall on a trail map of Crested Butte, click the image below:

Alright, now that we've got steps 1-4 out of the way, we can't go any further without actually performing the test. Hopefully, if things work out the way they're planned, the test will be conducted on Sunday, the 29th of January. If this is the case, results will be published on Monday.

If you have any suggestions for what the test subject (SEL) should drink during this experiment, please leave a comment, or email us at noobsports@gmail.com. All drink nominations will be given equal consideration, but the final judgment will be left up to the Noobsports family.

[Editors note: SEL is a very experienced skier. He has been skiing since he could walk, and has successfully ski'd some of North America's and Europe's best and toughest terrain. On a scale of 1-100, 1 being a total noob and 100 being World Class, SEL is probably a 92. The Noobsports family doesn't encourage drinking and skiing (at least not yet), so please don't try this on your own. However, if you don't listen to our advice and do try this on your own, please email us and tell us all about it at noobsports@gmail.com. Thank you.]

1:08 AM | Permalink

Well, since you've identified yourselves as Wolverine fans, perhaps you could create your own concoction and name it something along the lines of "The college team I root for sucks a bag of shit". Just a thought... -Randall

Posted by randall | 12:11 PM

Cisco Red, but remember it's not a wine cooler.

Posted by NJV | 1:44 PM

Double shot of Goldschlager at Paradise warming hut.

Posted by Brady | 1:53 PM

Wine Coolers, since SEL is a bitch.

Posted by Reg Dunlop | 2:12 PM

Why not make it Mike's?

Posted by Anonymous | 6:00 PM

Dude won't even make it up the T-bar. If he falls off, does he have to ski down and go back up the same lift? Also, won't he sober up from the start of the skiing until the end of the 3rd run?

Posted by RPM | 2:34 PM

rpm makes a good point. you should continue drinking during the entire test.
also, a comment from the deadspin website...

"If they die and kill themselves i hope the parents of the families attempt to sue bode miller. it's the american way."

it's not a bad idea. maybe you can just get hurt and not actually die, as i would like to see you and the website continue living.

Posted by Travis T | 2:45 PM

In the spirit of skiing drunk, I made a few bode miller t-shirts. Be interested to see if anyone likes them, Sam

Bode t-shirts

Posted by Anonymous | 9:59 AM

Environmental Arts and Sports: Sustainable Practises used in 2006 Winter Olympic Games

David Jakupca of the International Center for Environmental Arts (ICEA) comments on the sustainable practises used in Turin, Italy to make the XX Olympic Games the first certified green Olympic Games in Europe

Cleveland, OH -- At Turin, Italy more than 2,500 athletes from 85 nations who will be competing in 15 different disciplines have arrived in Turin and have moved in the eco-friendly buildings of the new Olympic Villages, constructed of pollution-free materials.

These will be the first certified green Olympic Games in Europe, a face of which the Torino Organizing Committee XX Olympic Winter Games (TOROC) is very proud.

Both the XX Olympic Winter Games and the IX Paralympic Winter Games of Torino achieved this green designation by applying the ecological tools provided by the EU - the European Community system for the control and management of the environment, the Eco-Management and Audit Scheme, and the European Eco-Classification system.

TOROC President Valentino Castellani said Olympics organizers decided to adopt these tools "to help us reach the objectives that we had set for environmental sustainability." Ensuring a climate-friendly Olympics is one of the cornerstones of TOROC’s plans.

"Mega events, both cultural and athletic, have a significant and long-lasting impact on the environment," said David Jakupca, internationally recognized as the Spiritual Father of the Environmental Art Movement and founder of ICEA. "I hope the experience of Torino will serve as a stimulus for the organizers of sports events in the future."

The Cleveland 2004 International Children’s Games environmental performance received an International Center for Environmental Arts (ICEA) Environmental Award for "clean and green" games by adhering to strict standards not only in sport, but also in the environment and sustainable development.

The ICEA Award aimed at contributing to the assessment of the environmental footprint of the International hildren’s Games, the award gives the green component of the Games a high score.

Marks were given to areas such as environmental planning and evaluation, protection of fragile natural and cultural areas, waste management and water conservation, and the use of environmentally friendly construction technologies.
The highest marks were awarded to the areas of public transport, improvement of existing infrastructure, and promotion of sustainable environmental awareness.

"Beyond the value learned from good sportsmanship, the International Children’s Games should also be a showcase for the highest environmental standards of sustainable development," said David Jakupca, Director of ICEA.

During the 2006 Olympic Games, a delegation from the UN Environment Programme (UNEP) led by Executive Director Klaus Toepfer will participate in a 'green dinner' on February 15 to celebrate the first anniversary of the entry into force of the Kyoto Protocol on February 16.

The Heritage Climate TORINO (HECTOR) project is designed to make the Winter Olympics carbon neural. By supporting forestry, energy efficiency and renewable energy schemes both at home and abroad, the Torino Olympics will be able to offset the estimated 100,000 metric tons of carbon dioxide that will be generated during the 16 days of the Games.

An extensive monitoring plan was developed for the entire Olympic area which includes 16 environmental indicators, including water cycle, air quality, soil use, energy consumption, waste production, ecosystems, landscape, and urban environment.

Suppliers of good and services involved in the Games were considered and selected based on the ecological quality of their products.

In line with the European eco-label for hotel services, TOROC is promoting an eco-label trademark to tourist sites and 12 hotels in the Olympic areas and provided the technical support necessary for them to obtain cortication. They are designed with a floral logo, symbol of environmental friendliness.

A new initiative - Refrigerants, Naturally! - forms part of this environmental component of the Games. Two of the official sponsors of the Olympic Games, McDonald’s Corporation and the Coco Cola Company, are the founders of Refrigerants, Naturally! Together with Unilever.

This voluntary initiative, supported by UNEP and Greenpeace, is promoting alternative point-of-sale refrigeration technology in the food and beverage industry that safeguards the climate as well as the ozone layer.

Coca Cola has deployed more than 1,000 beverage machines at the Torino Games that use carbon dioxide as the refrigerant. These machines eliminate the need for ozone-damaging chloroflurocarbons (CFCs) and hydroflurocarbons (HFCs).

If this technology were adopted globally on a large scale, it could make a significant improvement in this industry sector’s efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, while at the same time safeguarding the Earth’s protective ozone shield, UNEP said.

The TOROC waste management plan is designed with the goal of reducing to zero the quantity of waste destined for rubbish dumps.

The plan combines recycling of 68 percent of the organic and other dry waste material produced during the Games with an efficient system of energy retrieval - 32 percent of the waste will be transformed into fuel.

Waste production is being discouraged by the use of bio-polymers in disposable tableware and a reduction in the use of paper for communication and information purposes.

Sports events like the Olympic Games require years of work on a vast scale in terms of infrastructures, facilities and buildings, the organizers recognized. These public works draw on natural resources like water, air and the land, and they leave affect the environment of the region involved.

"This is why TOROC decided to adopt a long-term approach to the Olympic Games, considering right from the start the regulations and the tools provided by the European Union to safeguard the environment," the organizers said.

"The success of a big sports event," said President of the Piemonte Region Mercedes Bresso, "is measured by its capacity to generate positive effects over a medium and long period for the territory that hosts it. When we organized the Olympic Games of Torino 2006, we thought first of all, that we had to leave a long-lasting legacy of development and sustainability for the citizens and for the territory."

Bresso said, "The Torino 2006 projects that we supported and funded are meant to develop permanent practices of energy savings and CO2 control, in line with the Kyoto Protocol."

###

About ICEA:
International Center for Environmental Arts (ICEA)
P. O. Box 81496
Cleveland, Ohio 44181 USA
Phone/fax: 440-891-8376
Email: ICEA2000@sbcglobal.net
http://www.TheICEA.Org

The International Center for Environmental Arts (ICEA) is a force for socially responsible activity. ICEA's mission is to "Assist in understanding of the relationship between Humans and their Environment through the Arts". The International Center for Environmental Arts (ICEA) was founded by David and Renate Jakupca in 1987 to meet the compelling needs of ordinary citizens for access to current, balanced, understandable information about complex global issues. Over the years, ICEA has gained a reputation for excellence based upon a unique library of specialized, current information on global importance and a wide range of imaginative programming and collaborations with other organizations to meet the needs of a broad constituency. With affiliates across the globe, the ICEA supports research, information sharing and effective action promoting a sustainable culture of Peace.
www.TheICEA.Org

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